That
scene in the graveyard, before the Mystrade date. In that scene, John abandons
Sherlock (to go off with Mary). John yells at him that too many people indulge
Sherlock. It’s what Sherlock thinks he needs to hear, of course. Mycroft and
Lestrade stay behind to help Sherlock because I think Sherlock thinks they’re
the people who indulge him too much. Mycroft and Lestrade are the people who love
him no matter what, who will be there for him always, and he knows that. He’s
less certain about John, though. After all, John has The Great Mary, and John wants
Sherlock to hold himself to a higher standard. Sherlock can disappoint John. He
knows that. He has in the past.
Which
makes it such an incredibly sweet triumph that, the next layer down, in the
confrontation with Moriarty, John comes back. John doesn’t leave him alone and
abandoned. John comes back and says that Sherlock is never alone. Sherlock gets
to hear it, and Sherlock finds his way back to the world. It’s always John
Watson who gives Sherlock a reason to come back. You get the feeling Mycroft
knows that, when he asks John to take care of Sherlock. Mycroft can stand by
and hold a torch all he wants while Sherlock digs himself into huge holes, but
it’s John Watson who really keeps Sherlock alive, and Mycroft needs him to
understand that.
And
Moriarty, of course, suggests John and Sherlock elope. It’s the closest
Sherlock gets in his own head to an acknowledgment of what the relationship
between him and John really is, the closest he’ll let himself get to it, and I think, for him, it’s enough that he
got to have that moment. It’s possibly more than he thought he’d ever have,
even in his own head. YOU KILL ME, SHERLOCK HOLMES.